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Dec. 17th, 2014 12:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thefourthoneThe feeling sneaks up on her slowly. Her instinct is just to ignore it, but Steph is trying to do that revolutionary thing of actually experiencing and coping with her emotions. So she tries to identify that little pit of shame she gets every time she puts on her all-black outfit and creeps out her window.
Going out at night...has started to feel wrong. And not for all the many and varied reasons it probably should. It's the costume. Or the lack thereof. When she goes out Steph leaves her ordinary life behind to become...what? Nothing. A non-entity, no name, no nothing. It's not even about the all-black thing, because it's not really her thing, but if need be she could make it work. It just all feels a little empty. She goes out because she needs it, not because the city needs her.
There's a reason why Batman goes out with a symbol on his chest instead of just a faceless ninja doing the same amount of good. Superman's S is not just a sweet marketing gimmick.
It's about standing for something and pushing back against the dark. Even if you aren't sure you're good enough, not worthy. It's not about what you are to other people.
Part of her decides before she can even dare to think it. Her mind is made up and then one day the universe gives her a bit of positive re-enforcement. Sitting on her bed in a neat little pile is all her gear: the gloves, boots, grapples, a utility belt full of dangerous goodies. It's...wonderful. And weird. But, okay, universe, sure. She gets the picture. Give her everything but the uniform. She can take care of that.
Going out at night...has started to feel wrong. And not for all the many and varied reasons it probably should. It's the costume. Or the lack thereof. When she goes out Steph leaves her ordinary life behind to become...what? Nothing. A non-entity, no name, no nothing. It's not even about the all-black thing, because it's not really her thing, but if need be she could make it work. It just all feels a little empty. She goes out because she needs it, not because the city needs her.
There's a reason why Batman goes out with a symbol on his chest instead of just a faceless ninja doing the same amount of good. Superman's S is not just a sweet marketing gimmick.
It's about standing for something and pushing back against the dark. Even if you aren't sure you're good enough, not worthy. It's not about what you are to other people.
Part of her decides before she can even dare to think it. Her mind is made up and then one day the universe gives her a bit of positive re-enforcement. Sitting on her bed in a neat little pile is all her gear: the gloves, boots, grapples, a utility belt full of dangerous goodies. It's...wonderful. And weird. But, okay, universe, sure. She gets the picture. Give her everything but the uniform. She can take care of that.
